As I stated in my last entry, I am battling the flu (which I am winning and expect to be back to the gym next week), but I am keeping myself focused. Staying positive. Trying to keep my mind and heart connected on a much deeper level.
I tell myself repeatedly: I am a winner; I can do this; This is my life to do with what I want; I am the best; I love myself for who I am... and so on. To me, these are very powerful statements. These are the statements that have governed my life much of the past six months. To say them once or twice a day is simply not enough. To wake in the morning knowing what your purpose is "...This is my life to do with what I want..." and know and believe that you make it your absolutely best day ever, awesome! To go to sleep at night knowing "...I love myself for who I am..." and know that you truly did embrace yourself with the gentleness of a newborn, then your day was a success. You know why? I believe that how we treat ourselves is how we treat others. It's all very subconscious behavior.
We all have self-talk. And unfortunately, the majority of it is negative. We didn't get the promotion we wanted: loser. We've gained 10 pounds in three weeks: fat ass. You get what I'm saying here. We're not schoid, crazy people trying to figure out who is saying what to us. We know what we're doing and saying to ourselves. The problem is we are our own worse enemies. It's easier to believe in what we don't like about ourselves; what other's don't like about us than it is to just feel good about being alive. So I said to hell with it all.
When I decided to change careers, I had to change my mindset as well. Especially in a commission driven business where I am the only person accountable for my success or lack of it. While I was still uncertain after I passed the test and interviewed firms to hang my license, I still held onto the belief that this was my life to make what I wanted of it. No longer was I going to be a slave to a thankless boss whose main job description was the kick my ass at every turn and give me the whopping 3% annual raise she deemed worthy of my efforts and sacrifice from my family! No, this was MY life to do with what I want and I am doing it.
I held onto that and chugged my way into this career. I joined a gym. I've always been one who didn't shy away from physical activity, but allowed the distractions of life to interfere. But with the mindset of it being my life and the endorphin and serotonin rush I got from the physical activity combined, I felt myself becoming mentally stronger in my belief and convictions.
My reading materials are different. I want things that are going to feed my soul; that will create a fiery inferno mess with what I already hold true about myself and just explode with success and happiness. Because these things that I want for myself, I want for my husband and family as well. And while I transform myself, I transform them by defacto. By transforming myself I've created this gravitational pull (I believe) and draw them into life not necessarily to live on my terms, but to find terms of their own and make it work for them.
I haven't been to the gym in seven days today. But in my mind, I see myself at my goal: strong and healthy and rocking a pretty great shape for a woman facing 50. That makes me feel good.
But I still need a few days rest. I know this. But come Monday I will wade back into the waters allow my body to rebuild itself and move on to the next level. That should take about a week to get my groove back and in two weeks - bam - I'll be hitting the gym full force and running my crazy butt off in the streets.
I am excited about my life. It's what makes me feel good!
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